Texting your dad from the backyard during a summer barbec...

Conversation

1. I just texted Dad from behind the grill.
2. Don't start anything dramatic at Nana's barbecue.
3. Too late; I asked him where my college savings went.
4. Wait what, your tuition money disappeared?
5. There's a $24,000 transfer to 'Rachel H.' from his account.
6. Rachel as in our old babysitter Rachel?
7. Yes; she just posted a courthouse selfie and a ring.
8. Check her Instagram story and DM me the link.
9. Her caption says 'finally' and the location is County Clerk.
10. Why would Dad secretly marry her though?
11. Because he used my tuition for it; I found the receipt.
12. Screenshot the bank transfer immediately.
13. I did; it's labeled 'wedding fee' with Rachel's email.
14. Is Mom nearby? This can't happen quietly.
15. Mom's washing plates and talking about the marinade.