Texting your dad during the Fourth of July barbecue after...

Conversation

1. What the hell is this post, Dad?
2. I didn't think you'd see it yet.
3. You didn't think I'd see 'surprise, meet your half-brother'?
4. Calm down, it's not what it looks like.
5. So you had a kid and hid him from me?
6. No, I didn't hide a kid; please let me explain.
7. Explain a photo with a toddler I've never met.
8. I was a donor in college; they found me through testing.
9. You were a donor? You never mentioned that.
10. I didn't think it mattered until they contacted me.
11. So you invited a stranger to our Fourth without telling me?
12. I told your mom about meeting them quietly.
13. Mom knew?
14. She knew and asked me to wait until today.
15. This is family, not a surprise party, Dad.