Texting your dad in the middle of the World Cup final aft...

Conversation

1. Dad are you in that viral World Cup selfie right now?
2. Yes, I'm at the game; why are you texting me?
3. Because you're wearing my engagement ring in it.
4. That's not my ring, you're seeing things.
5. I just sent you the screenshot, check it now.
6. Don't screenshot strangers and freak out midgame.
7. Zoom the band, the tiny dent is the same.
8. Fine, I did borrow a ring weeks ago.
9. You borrowed mine and swore you'd keep it safe.
10. I said I'd hold it while you figured things out.
11. Then why is it on your finger with a woman?
12. She wasn't anyone I'm dating; it's complicated.
13. So you put my ring on to prove what?
14. Someone at the stadium had their ring stolen.
15. What does that have to do with my ring?
16. She claimed mine matched hers, I tried to help.
17. The woman in the selfie looks like she's crying.
18. She was—she ran to me, panicked, I held it.
19. You held it by wearing it on your finger?
20. I slipped it on to show ownership, to calm her.
21. You used my engagement ring as proof in public?
22. I'm sorry, my phone died, I couldn't call you.
23. I'm trending because my dad decided to 'help'?
24. I thought protecting it mattered more than image, please.
25. Protecting it by making me look like a liar online?
26. I'm in row five by the blue gate; don't scream.