Panic-texting your coworker from the bathroom at the comp...

Conversation

1. They just put our 'roast the CEO' screenshot on the big screen
2. What screenshot? I'm at the bar, I don't see anything
3. Someone tossed a screenshot; HR just whispered my name
4. Holy—are you okay? Where are you right now
5. Bathroom stall, locked, heart racing, HR texted 'meet now'
6. Don't go back out, wait, delete anything on your phone
7. I already left it on the sink; someone picked it up
8. Who grabbed it? Tell me their name right now
9. I saw Liam laughing and Sam near the projector
10. Liam has a weird history with executive PR, that's bad
11. They zoomed my avatar and HR asked 'origin of the chat'
12. Did your username show your legal name or handle?
13. It showed my handle, but someone doctored it to show my name
14. That's framing; they wanted you to take the fall
15. Why me? I'm terrified they'll fire me on the spot
16. You were loud about layoffs, but that doesn't mean sabotage
17. HR just asked for my laptop and my messages
18. Don't hand anything over; stall, tell them IT needs to check
19. They're already printing screenshots with my replies circled in red
20. Those exact messages are missing from our group history right now
21. Missing? I typed them, I remember the timestamps, I swear
22. Don't swear, look at my DM, I just sent you a screenshot
23. I can't open DMs, HR is knocking, they're asking 'who leaked this'
24. Okay, this is worse—someone pasted a leaked acquisition memo into our thread