Texting your mom during your sister’s wedding after the D...

Conversation

1. Mom, You won't believe this—they're playing my breakup voice note right now.
2. What? Stop it; where are you right now?
3. At Emma's wedding; everyone is looking at me.
4. Is it the voice note you sent Jake?
5. Yes, the angry one from two weeks ago.
6. How the hell did the DJ even get that?
7. I don't know; he's introducing the 'surprise toast'.
8. Delete anything on your phone now; people will screenshot.
9. I can't, it's live and blasting through speakers.
10. Say it's about someone else; act calm and laugh.
11. I can't lie in front of the entire reception.
12. Who else would they think it's about, honey?
13. They're looking at the groom; people are whispering 'what a confession'.
14. What did you say in the note? Anything mention wedding?