Texting your sister from the rehearsal dinner after you r...

Conversation

1. I'm at the rehearsal dinner and the 'dad' just started his toast
2. Wait why are you texting me from the rehearsal dinner
3. Because he's not dad—he's reading from a script, Maya
4. What do you mean he's reading a script?
5. He paused, pulled out his phone, and showed a contract screenshot
6. Don't open the family chat, delete everything, please
7. Too late, he just sent that screenshot to the family group
8. What? Why would he do that, who sent him?
9. The contract shows a payer: 'MARIA RIVERA'—Mom's maiden name
10. Jesus, she hired a fake dad?
11. There's a clause: 'Non-disclosure; reveal penalty $100,000'.
12. Why would she risk that at our wedding?
13. Because another line reads: 'Ensure plausible paternal identity'.
14. You didn't say earlier—are you crying?